Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Emotional Freedom: Defeat Negative Emotions
"This is an article about a recommended new pathway to freedom from toxic emotions.
Stress is the most powerful and common emotional reason why people fail to change. As soon as one starts to hurt emotionally or physically, there is an internal drive to shut the pain off with whatever it will take." Click the above link for more.
Friday, December 5, 2008
It’s early December, and we are experiencing the drama of fog in Grants Pass, Oregon like a blanket of darkness and dungeness that hangs on for days. The pervasive grey mist engulfs and suppresses my mood and spirit: easy to understand the power of seasonal affective disorder known as SAD.
Some good news comes from a little relief we had several days ago. The sky actually cleared up in the afternoon, and the Sun felt deliciously warm as it touched my face.
As I draw hope from this comforting vision, I also flash back to the gorgeous sky show that premiered just over a week ago.
I recall the sky mysteriously parted with one half being a clear, pastel blue, and the other remaining slightly dark. A soft, fresh rain drummed in the background. Slowly, the remaining fog morphed into horizontal slivers of ferry mist, kissing our green covered mountains. Such a glorious image was juxtaposed with an enormous rainbow arch, which towered over the whole, living, inspirational picture.
This soothing scene sustained me for a while, but I am confronted with a challenge more dramatic and painful than the weather today.
You see, I invited a relative of an inmate to participate in a family therapy session at the jail medical clinic. The powers that be stated I had caused a security breach. I was in deep shock and felt blindsided by this accusation. To make matters worse, they refused to discuss the situation, pulled my security clearance, and escorted me out of the facility.
I had worked for Corrections via Mental Health under temporary contract with high performance marks. Now my personal fog descended from being treated like an inmate who lost all dignity; and I apparently no longer possessed the right to work out problems in fair, logical, and rational ways.
Naturally I contacted my supervisor through our local Mental Health Clinic. He understood that I was caught within a clash of systems between the safety concerns of Corrections, and the client centered approach of Mental Health. However, when he contacted the jail administrator to offer having a meeting to work out the problems, he was summarily dismissed. Needless to say, my buttons were pushed. I started heading into an emotional tailspin full of anger, worry, fear, sadness, and shame.
Over the last 39 years, I have counseled my clients to use positive mental skills to contain and resolve toxic emotions. Time to apply these skills to my own personal fog:
#1. I took a deep breath, holding the air in for at least three seconds, and slowly exhaled for six.
#2. I recited positive affirmations like: “I refuse to poison myself with negative thoughts,” and “I deserve to have a better life today.”
#3. I also vented my frustrations to my wife, friends, and peers.
#4. Most importantly, I prayed with passion and persistence.
But, I was still furious that I had been humiliated and treated with so much disrespect. My dark secrets pertaining to control, authoritarianism, and emotional abuse had kicked in on overdrive.
I turned to a new healing process called Emotional Freedom Technique promoted by Gary Craig online:
#1. I made my left hand into a karate-chop. I started tapping the pressure point underneath it with my right hand.
#2. I affirmed over and over: “Even though I am having this problem at the jail, I totally love and accept myself.”
#3. I worked the upper body by tapping the top of my head, the inside bridge of the nose, outer corner of the eye, the center ridge beneath the eye, between the nose and upper lip, between the lower lip and chin, down to the collar bone, ending with tapping under the arms.
#4. Lastly, I took a deep breath and felt some marvelous relief.
However, the anger, rage, and other stressful emotions unfortunately came back. This escalated into obsessing about how to confront all my perceived injustices by involving the media or some other form of grandstanding.
Yet, I held my ground despite the internal battle raging between my negative and positive side. I used all mental tools including emotional recovery process, EFT, and prayer. Then I remembered the wonderful rainbow, sunshine, friends, family, hope, faith, and the ocean. Slowly, the fog lifted and retreated into the background.
I still hurt a little, but I choose to walk and breathe in the Light. Today, the Sun is out again in Grants Pass, Oregon. The mountains are green, the air is fresh, and the rainbow within glows with comfort, acceptance, unconditional love, and enduring relief.
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Eby Way is based on my 39 years as a professional social worker, and the new system I developed called emotional recovery to help people have better lives. In addition, the story speaks about my journey to spiritual transformation, which reveals dark secrets and our inherent power to choose the positive.
For more free informaton about my concept of self-help in new ways please visit:
Positive Life Change Samples.
Be the first to receive The Eby Way when released in 2009 at 60% off list price if you sign up for Scratch Back program, agree to review it on your page, and pass it forward to somebody who needs hope and healing.
Connect to Scratch Back at the bottom of my Blog and get your web sites or blogs linked to mine.
Book Review. WheelMan Press (www.wheelmanpress.com):
After working in the social work field for 37 years, author Gary Eby developed a simple formula to help anyone overcome a negative past and to embrace a positive lifestyle. In his book, Eby proves the effectiveness of his technique by providing examples of his own experiences as well as the stories of some of the people he has counseled.
This book is a self improvement guide as well as an inspirational tool that will definitely benefit those who are burdened with a difficult past. Not only does this book provide guidance, but it encourages readers to seek spiritual healing as well.
"The Eby Way" is an encouraging and motivating guide that proves that with a little help any obstacles can be overcome.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Just click the picture of the books and enjoy!
Friday, August 29, 2008
For more on my article please just click my picture below:
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
On the first morning of our vacation to Yachats around 6:45 A.M., I am still drowsy while I curl over in bed taking dim note of our surroundings. Our bedroom faces East with a wall to wall picture window protected by a panel of hanging canvas-like shades. The rising Sun is streaming through those vertical panels, illuminating a picture of Martha’s Vineyards on the opposite wall, and an adjacent beach painting called “By the Sea.”
I hear my wife Susan in the kitchen probably making coffee. Every so often there is a cracking boom from the surf outside, crashing against our rugged, rocky Oregon coastline.
I am more awake now, but I close my eyes to move myself deeper into the spirit of relaxation. However, I do commence to stroke Silas, our twelve pound Poodle and Pomeranian mix, who is snuggled besides me. Slowly, I become aware of and more sensitive to the outside chatter of birds commingled with the cackling songs of some crows.
Woven within the cacophony is the mysterious and melodic flute-like song of an unknown avian creature. Whatever the nature of this species, I am convinced it is a virtuoso. Such sweet, soothing refrains, flash me back to the Native American music, Susan and I became so exquisitely familiar with when we lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico in the 90’s.
The flute notes continue with a slightly reedy resonance, accompanied by three staccato whistles at the end of the bird song. I know in my heart, as a few tears of joy land on my face, that I must have arrived in heaven.
As I record these precious moments in my journal, I would like to say a few words of encouragement to aspiring writers. First and foremost, start writing your own journal. There is something healing, therapeutic, and thought provoking about the whole journaling process.
Next, while you journal, pause to slow the pace down. Review the written passages and look for word gems or thought jewels to further refine and appreciate. This form of writing then becomes a kind of cognitive meditation, which facilitates peace of mind and limitless creativity.
For example, I am sitting now in a comfortable lounge chair located in our beach home living room. I have rewritten my entry at least 10 times or more, which is the third thing I want to suggest to all those who want to get published: keep polishing your work.
The more I focused on describing my immediate environment, the more receptive I became to free flowing, relaxing thoughts. I noticed the whole West wall of our living room consists of four, tempered glass windows, about five-by-five square feet each, and a matching pair attached to both side walls. The observation area presents a panoramic view that is unbelievable, humbling, and awe inspiring.
Our rental home actually rests on a grassy cliff overlooking and facing the Pacific Ocean. The spectacular water images hypnotize by the undulating motion of the waves, caressing the huge, oddly shaped, black, barnacle covered, volcanic rock slabs, jutting out in the shoreline.
As I write about the power of journaling, the surf roars with breaking whitecaps, spiraling around and splashing between the rock formation fingers. Sea gulls fly low over the waters, sometimes diving in to feast on sea bounty.
Write about what you hear, feel, and think. Know that there is a creative force within all of us. Practice accessing this inner Light that overcomes all dark secrets, which mysteriously threaten to hold us back from the good we deserve. Let your writing take you to the place of silence deep within our subconscious mind some appropriately call, "The Secret Place of the most High.”
Furthermore, listen to the spirit music of your surroundings and observations. Allow your mind, body, and soul to dance to the rhythmic pulse of inspiration and bliss. Give yourself permission to free associate with your creative strengths, talents, and abilities.
So, let’s take a deep breath together and revisit one last time the sparkling, gleaming, life images that stand before me today. I look out at a mauve sky on the ocean horizon. At times, the Sun turns the sea into millions of glistening diamond lights. A partial cloud-drape extends over the bluish green waters as far as the eye can see. Gulls and water foul are bobbing in clumps, speckling the ocean with white feather squares like enormous nature-made patch quilts. The fishy, salty, seaweed smells permeate the air.
I turn to focus once again on the infinite, majestic waves. Their surf-music play notes of rushing, slashing, percussive melodies, which mesmerize, hypnotize, and soothes the soul. To be writing on a day like this is a blessing beyond imagination, with memories to treasure and keep alive in the secret place within.
Monday, August 11, 2008
I am standing on our outside patio deck trying to get a good look at the sunset. It is blocked for the most part by some of our trees.
I walk down from our deck to the extended and horizontal mound of green grass which overlooks the community tennis court in the backyard. Now the view is unobstructed by the glorious, sinking, heat fixture.
Presently it’s a huge, yellow-orange orb, slowly descending into our western horizon; framed by a grand Ponderosa Pine tree on each side. Further in the distance, blue mountain tops sprout above a rolling green backdrop of forest trees.
The white-bluish sky appears to swallow the Sun in half, and it spits out a flame red cape of light. As the Sun further dips into near invisibility, there remains only a crescent glow like a dying ember of coal.
With a blink of a magicians dragon silk, the ember vanishes, replaced by a dim sky banner painted purple, pink, tangerine, pastel white, and faint blue.
I sit cross-legged on our grass mound, grateful for the time of twilight before the inevitable curtain of darkness brings on the night. I am reminded of my strange dream last night.
As I recall, I found myself driving in the darkness on a curvy mountain road. The vehicle picked up too much speed as it descended into a twisted one lane highway. I applied my brakes, but the foot peddle went limp to the floor. To my horror the brakes failed....